Havin' A Party
His name is Scott
He's goin' blind
And his blood just will not clot
The doctors line in rows
To stick tubes up Scotty's nose
There is the field
Where Scotty used to play
Until Ortho Orange Number 42
Was dumped in it one day
I think it's so funny
I laugh until I cry
Just me and God
Watchin' Scotty die
Just me and God
Watchin' Scotty die
The chemical plant across the street
Leaves off steam that colours our white sheets
It's been happening for years
Now I'm crying rainbow tears
One day my dog went out to p
The Way You Look At Me
THE SCOTSMAN
Bryon Boyers
(Dr. Demento's 20th anniversery tape)
Well a scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he drank more than his share
He fumbled around until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
She crept up on that sleeping scotsman as quiet as could be
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold unto their view beneath his scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment than one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh
Around the bonny star the scot's kilt did lift and show
Now the scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gasps at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Och lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring-ding-diddle-diddle hai-dee-ho ring-di-diddly-ai-oh
Och lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize!
tmazanec1@juno.com or Tom Mazanec to humans